My Bank Annoys Me

I bank with one of Australia’s largest back which recently posted over $7 billion in profit

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-08-14/commonwealth-bank-posts-record-profit-as-bad-debt-charges-fall.html

This annoys me because I feel in many ways the bank does not offer me the services that matter to me so I asked myself if they would listen what would I say

Dear Commonwealth Bank of Australia

Why is there only one ATM that I have so far been able to find in the city that will accept deposits? And why do I then need to wait for it to issue me an envelope from its bowels that I then I have to put my check or cash into and fill out information on the front, then stick back into it? Tell me again why I cannot just stick my check into a slot and get a print out with the front of the check? And same for cash – each denomination has unique features so the slot should be able to identify the bills as I put them in; after all the pay machine in the parking garage or vending machine can tell a twenty from a fifty surely you can come up with something that can too.

One of the features I loved from Chase was the ability to send the word BAL to a 5 digit number from my cell phone and get a response back as to what my balance was I could then use the word TRN (I think) to transfer money between accounts if it fell below a certain amount. But you, oh you only allow me to have ONE miserly text message a week. And there is no number to send the request to – it is all set up and controlled online. So on Wednesdays at 4pm I can find out my balance via text but at no other time – thank you.

Thank you also for making it impossible for me to transfer money between accounts via ATM; I can only do it online which really keeps me from touching germy ATM machines

Thanks also for a lack of apps for mobile devices – who needs those silly things cluttering up their cell phones anyway

And oh the need for a phone banking passcode – let's see; I have provided my name, address, bank account number, client number, given the names of all the accounts I have, first born child and oh now you need the code before you can help me…….sigh I do not know what it is OK?

Cashing US cheques and money orders hmm 8-10 weeks to clear like seriously, seriously – we are not even talking personal cheques here.

And what do you do with my paycheck for 2-3 days after it's sent out? Do you just sit on it gather some interest before you release it to me?

Yours,

A disgruntled customer